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Balancing Motherhood and Career: Shattering the Myth of Choosing One Over the Other

Wow!! It's been almost 3 years since my last post. I guess that is an indication of how my life has been on full speed. But, I am back and ready to discuss topics that are important to me and those that others may not want to talk about.

Over the past 3 years, I have transitioned into a life of being a "digital nomad" or "digital expat" or whatever title seems fitting for living abroad. I will dive into the details of my journey later, but first I wanted to address some of the side-eyes I have received along the way. I know you are probably like "here she goes", but real talk this is a topic that many have come to me for advice on how to navigate. It's being a Mom and still following your dreams, career, etc.

A few months ago, I read a quote from Cardi B that said "Why do I have to choose between having a baby or a career? Why can't I have both?". That stuck out to me, because that is some real shit. Why can't you have both? Who said you can only have one or the other? Why do I have to choose?!?! And after sitting on that and really thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that you don't have to choose. Society is making you choose.

TRANSPARENT MOMENT: When I decided to move to better myself (financially, physically, mentally, and emotionally) and my family, I had so many people that could not understand why I was "leaving my kids". They acted as if they were so 'concerned' but did not know the details of my circumstances, nor ask. There were some that distanced themselves and to this day I have not spoken to them. For the next year after my move, I lived with regret of moving away from my kids. I cried every day wondering if I was making the right choices (ask my friends). I couldn't acknowledge the positive changes that were being made within myself, because I was so focused on the outside world. It was a hard challenge to overcome in that present moment. What had I done?

Fast forward to 2023..... after numerous calls and messages asking me how I did it, what made me make the move, tell them more so they can do it, etc., I finally realized I am living the life that other women long to live. They want to debunk the societal "norms" of the mother having to be physically in the home. They want to focus on their mental health, so they are a better mother for their kids and for themselves. They want to try something different. They have a path they want to follow before "it's too late" (note: it's never too late). And that is where the question comes in of "why can't we do both?". It's 2023. Things have changed. If the pandemic didn't show you anything, it should have showed you that there is nothing "normal" anymore.

I want to continue to empower mothers to live the lives they want, because you CAN do both. If that means someone has to continue saying "wow, she is living her best life", then so be it. YES, I AM LIVING MY BEST LIFE and WE (my kids and I) have no complaints!! I have come to the realization that I am not 'normal' and don't want to be. {shrug}

If you get nothing else out of this just know by challenging the societal norms, we pave the way for a future where mothers can confidently declare, "I don't have to choose; I can have both!".

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