Disclaimer: I am very transparent with my world. It's life, not a game. I do this because you never know who needs to hear or read it. Who is going through something similar. I mean, mine is crazy, but still might be similar. Who knows.
Man, I can't say enough about 2019. It's been one hell of a year. It's been one for THE BOOKS!!!
It's 2019!! I got off my ass this year and remembered why I moved to Atlanta. Why did it take me 5 years? Oh well, it's go time! I started new ventures. I was networking. I met a lot of influential people. I learned a lot about different industries. I learned about myself and what I can bring to the table in a business. I learned how people see me as an asset. I built partnerships. I made friends. It was AMAZING!!! I knew it was up from here. (I mean I still do).
Family. Career. Dreams. Friends. Life.
Whoa, if that shit didn't hit me all at once. Try juggling all these things at one time. I know a lot of you are., so this is old news. Who comes first? Who's happy? Can I do all this right now? Should I wait, AGAIN? Is this right? What is my purpose? All the dreaded "over-thinker" questions. I was getting hit from all directions. I wanted everyone to be happy, including myself. I started to get confused. I started to ignore a lot of things. I started to watch my world crumble around me.
"Do you know what others are going through?"
"It could be worse."
"You aren't at your lowest."
I heard it over and over again. ANNOUNCEMENT.... this is my lowest. I had reached MY lowest. I couldn't make the shit up that was happening. I thought I was reading a book, but I realized "this is MY life right now". It's not a book. It could be, but it's not.
Reality is a hard pill to swallow. The things you thought would stay forever are fading away. The good feelings no longer feel good. You aren't sure when you will reach your next level. You know happiness exists because you once had it. What happened? Can I make a comeback from all this? What happened to the positive person?
Alright 2019, it's time for you to go. I've enjoyed the good times and I have really "disliked" the bad times. I sit here now and I can finally say I think I get it. I can't give you 100 yet (truth) because I will always be a "work in progress". We have to realize we weren't put here to be perfect. I may be crying one minute and smiling the next, but know my happiness is always there!! I know where I want to be in life. I know who I want in my life. I know what my goals are. I know what it's going to take to get there. The road won't always be easy. it won't always be pretty. Heck, it won't always be what you want. But it's up to you to make the best of it. Take note. We get results from the execution, not from the plan.
Be Positive. Be Happy. Be You.